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Finally The Ultimate Guide For Parents, Grandparents And Babysitters

As the parents of two young boys, and doctors who deal with children and their families on a daily basis,we know that the health of your child is the most important thing in the world to you. There is nothing more frightening to parents than having an ill child. we know that parents feel the strongest instinct to alleviate their child’s pain. This book will help you do just that.

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Helping a Friend Through a Miscarriage


Patty Hone


When you have a friend that has had a miscarriage there is a lot you can do to help her. Many times we are afraid to say anything because we don’t want to say the wrong thing but not saying anything at all can be just as bad. So what should you say and what shouldn’t you say. I have had three miscarriages myself and have heard a lot of things that were just not the right things to say. I have put together a list of things you can say and things you probably shouldn’t. Please be gentle with your friends that are coping with miscarriage. They need your support.  Things you should say.

Do call her and tell her you are sorry for her loss.
Do send her a card or flowers to show you care
Do let her talk as much as she needs to or wants to.
Do give her a hug to let her know you care.
Do offer to help with housework, babysitting or other things that she may not feel up to doing.
Do acknowledge her baby.
It is okay to say I don’t know what to say or I don’t know how to help. Do call and check up on her. The pain does not go away in a couple days.
Give her extra attention. She needs to feel like other people care about what she is going through.
Do ask if she wants to talk about it.

Things you should not say.

It was probably for the best.
At least it happened early in the pregnancy before you really got attached.
It was God’s will
I understand how you feel. Even if you have had more than one miscarriage, you may not know how she is feeling.
It was only one miscarriage.
I know a friend that had such and such miscarriages and she has children now.
It was nature’s way of getting rid of defective chromosomes.
At least you have one child
I don’t understand why you are so upset.
Maybe you should consider adoption, not having children.
Don’t not talk about it. Don’t avoid her.
Don’t try to cheer her up. She probably doesn’t want to be cheered up and by doing this you are not acknowledging her pain.

Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com

A Culture Of Life


The Independent Voice

I have a question for the pro-lifers: if you truly believe that there is no distinction between someone that shoots and kills another human being and an impregnated mother who decides to abort a fetus, then why don't you do something about it? If your child or your neighbor's child was being attacked by a madman that was going to kill, wouldn't you defend that child? Why do you talk about abortion like it is murder and express the belief that nothing separates it from a violent homicidal attack by adults, and yet a majority of you stand by and do nothing?

I have a question for the pro-choicers: if you truly believe that abortion comes about because of unwanted pregnancies, what have you done to prevent them? At what point do you think abortion is murder? If you believe that life doesn't begin at conception, where does it begin? Don't you understand that just because you terminate a fetus early doesn't mean that the fetus would not have developed into a life as we know it? If you do have a life that is capable of reaching independence inside you, why do you think that it is "just" your body, after all, no one would live very long without help from others?

Wouldn't the both of you agree that we need to promote a "culture of life"? But what does that mean?

I respectfully ask the Pro-lifers to put themselves in the positions of people that are faced with these hard decisions. Think about the possible circumstances in which your strongly held beliefs might change. Think about a situation where you are a married man and your wife is raped by someone that is HIV infected, or a crack fiend. Do you abort then? O.K. maybe that's an improbable example, but what do you do if your child is impregnated by another family member? Again that's another rare scenario, but these things do happen. Here's one that isn't as rare as you think: your married and your partner becomes pregnant. "Great", you think because that was your goal. The doctor then informs you that if your wife continues with the pregnancy she could become severely ill or die. What do you do?

Or a more probable situation is one where 2 teenagers go to a party and get drunk, have sex and the girl becomes impregnated because they didn't use protection or used it improperly. The girl can't talk to her parents about it and the guy is nowhere to be found. She has plans for college and didn't plan on getting pregnant until after graduation, no less by a guy who was just in it for the sex. What would you do?

Does a "culture of life" accept the reality that these things go on all the time, and offer real solutions, including birth control, sexual education, and expedited adoption, to combat abortion? To take it a step further, would you be willing to adopt an "unwanted" child, educate children about sex and financially support those that cannot provide for themselves? What should be the government's responsibility if they tell citizens that all unwanted pregnancies legally cannot be aborted?

I respectfully ask the pro-choicers to put themselves in the position of someone who believes so much in their convictions that they would be willing to sacrifice to the point of death, to uphold them. Do you understand that a fetus, barring any complications, will grow to the point of complete independence? With that being the case, do you understand why someone would say that life does indeed begin at conception? As a woman, don't you understand that having the ability to abort a fetus isn't power, it's responsibility? That responsibility gets shifted off both the man and the woman, and is put squarely on you. By insisting that it is your "choice", you have, for all intents and purpose, removed the father's responsibility to not only assist in making that decision but also to care for the child, after birth.

Wouldn't a "culture of life" need to address issues like poverty, crime, responsibility and famine? How can we allow children to be born into an environment where the mother can't afford to feed, clothe, educate and protect herself? Why shouldn't fathers have as much legal responsibility to their children as mothers do? Why should women have the sole responsibility for making decisions about the termination of pregnancy? Why should anyone be faced with the decision to terminate because they have no support, no food, no money, no healthcare, no way to provide and no hope?

Before condemning someone for having the opinions or convictions that they do, why don't you try to first accept the reality that these problems are real and affect people from every race, culture and economic status, and that complete understanding of these problems is necessary, before any real world solutions can be formulated? Both sides should agree that these problems are real. Both sides have different solutions to these problems, as each of you understands them. Neither side is completely right or wrong. Neither side has all the answers. Neither side is the only holder of the truth. You can either combat each other or combat the problem. You can either accept that there are good people with strongly held beliefs on both sides of the aisle, and that you both seek to solve these very human problems, or you can dismiss each other and leave these issues for future generations to fight.

The first step in the process of coming to any answers is communication, understanding, and tolerance of one another. The first step towards having a "culture of life" would be to promote these values.

The Indy Voice (http://www.theindyvoice.com/) is a no-nonsense blog that discusses politics, current affairs, and American society and culture without any consideration of ratings or commercial entities (big business). The Indy Voice

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